hold your breath

lovaaa @ 2007-06-04T08:31:00

2007-06-04T15:31:45Z

i hate being up so early.
i get so bored with nothing to do.
joe is at his verizon training,
zeus is playing with the dogs downstairs.
my room is clean, i can't finish
revamping the bathroom by myself,
i don't want to get ready until its
close to time for work, & i don't work
until two. its awful gloomy outside
so a walk or anything is out of the question,
and i went to the gym last night.

so. i made the world's most amazing
fried egg, and now i'm drinking tea
in bed watching the history channel.
lame.

i really don't want to go to work.

i'm goiong to get my hair done.
deep conditioned, & professionally dyed,
so its not so damn dry. i'm going to buy
curlers, and straightening serum.
then cross my fingers i'll be satisfied.
i probably won't.

i mostly want this jobat buckle so i can
wear jeans to work again. jeans & flip flops.
:]

lovaaa @ 2007-05-31T10:21:00

2007-05-31T17:23:44Z

so, my interview with buckle
is on friday. its a third interview,
so i reallyyy hope it goes well :]

mm, the weather is gorgeous.
summer is so close, i can't even
believe how fast this years gone by.
and this summeris going to be amazing.
new babies, new friends, new everythingg.

lovaaa @ 2007-05-08T12:16:00

2007-05-08T19:27:17Z

lets update :]

the weather is beautiful.
the sky is perfectly clear.
& the sun is warm. its great.
refreshing.

i left express.
i'm the assistant manager
at claire's in vancouver mall.
my manager is old & senile.
but i get half off my jewelry
::thumbs up::

i have, hands down, the most
adoreable puppy ever. he's
almost six months, & hes a
big ball of fun. definitely
the biggest dog ever, in quite
a little body. me & joe take
him out to parks, and down
to frenchman's, and he thinks
he can kick anyones ass, anyday.
:]

click to enlarge
amazing right?

me & joe are perfect.
he got his job at verizon,
& everything is going well
for the both of us. which
i'm sure makes us both much
more fun to be around lol.
i love him a whole lot :]

but now, i'm babysitting
my beautiful nephew.
who is about to turn one.
& he has just be awaken
by my rather loud puppy lol.
so i'll continue this later.

i hope all if well with everyone.

lovaaa @ 2007-02-19T19:52:00

2007-02-20T03:53:25Z

you make me feel
so stupid.

lovaaa @ 2007-02-17T15:42:00

2007-02-17T23:43:17Z

i don't have the energy to post
everything that i need to.
but i will, soon.

i just wanted to let you all know,
i got a job. @ express. and i'm stoked.

lovaaa @ 2007-02-14T21:11:00

2007-02-15T05:19:12Z

i grab her hips and pull her in closer,
i close my eyes and it turns her on.
we press our skin and, though it resists, oh i slip inside.
i feel her breath, it slides down my neck.
yeah, yeah, we sweat to the rhythm that we make.
make love. hate yourself. but, baby, i'm all yours, yeah.

lovaaa @ 2007-02-12T04:02:00

2007-02-12T12:05:09Z

"i feel like she really is the one for me,
but i also feel a lot of other things"

"well, like what?"

"like i'm too young to be going. like theres
tons of other girls out there."

"ah yes, but there's only one justine."

its amazing the insights you get while
watching the cosby show. :]

lovaaa @ 2007-02-12T03:33:00

2007-02-12T11:43:12Z

i'm rebooting my ovarian operating system.
& it blows.

i also, went to bed too early.
i didn't mean to. i just fell asleep.
but when i woke up, it as already late ish,
& andrew was coming over to hang out with
joe, and i wanted them to hang out without
me for a change. either way, its 3:37, &
i'm wide awake. watching music videos.
eating wheat thins.

i love wheat thins.

oh, & my goal, is to have a body like this;

by this summer.

lovaaa @ 2007-02-11T16:00:00

2007-02-12T00:03:56Z

last night after last night,
was good. it was productive.
it hurt. & it reassured. &
helped put a lot of things,
into perspective.

there's so many cars in our
driveway. my mom's old truck,
my mom's new truck [ which is
really the equivalent of two
cars ] joe's car, my car, &
kevin's car. kevin's car would
be at my grammas already, but
alas, it won't start. so.
our driveway is overflowing with
vehicles.

lovaaa @ 2007-02-11T01:48:00

2007-02-11T09:48:04Z

yeah.
not a good night.

viva cuervo!

2007-02-10T18:36:27Z

i have an amazing amount of
applications to turn in today.
i'm really crossing my fingers
for express. the manager seemed
really into me. it was her idea
for me to apply anyways. man,
i would love working there.

& it would be in lloyd center :]
i love lloyd center.

monday we're taking zeus to the
groomer. he's looking awful scruffy.
i love that little guy. which
reminds me, kevin you haven't
seen a recent picture of him.

god, he's gotten so big. ha, i say
that in no comparison to my parents
dogs. :]

lovaaa @ 2007-02-08T18:39:00

2007-02-09T02:40:41Z

i'm grumpy.
i don't know why.

i feel sort of..
abandoned? idk.

this must be my
unemployment.
its driving me nuts.

lovaaa @ 2007-02-08T09:36:00

2007-02-08T17:39:38Z

okay. really.
i'm going on a diet.
i decided this the other day
& lapsed last night for some bk.
but. after how icky i felt
i looked last night,
i'm really, eating better.
completely healthy.
& i'm exercising.
exercising A LOT.

:]

oh & for the record,
i have an amazing boyfriend.
who sometimes is a poop head,
but redeems himself, always.

lovaaa @ 2007-02-07T13:24:00

2007-02-07T21:25:19Z

i don't get it.
fifteen minutes earlier
you're talking to me like
everything was peachy.

& now you've gone pyscho.
wtf.

lovaaa @ 2007-02-07T09:57:00

2007-02-07T18:00:41Z

to keep you all updated.
for the past week or so,
i haven't been sleeping at night.
i've been awake until 8 or 9am,
tired as hell, but incapable of sleep.

so. finally, last night me & joe went
to the store, & got me sleeping pills.
just light ones, that make you sleepy.
not the ones that knock you out.

i fell asleep at 1130.
woke up at 1. feel asleep.
woke up again at 3. fell asleep.
woke up again at 530. woke up.

best sleep i've had in a long time.
sad huh?

lovaaa @ 2007-02-07T09:55:00

2007-02-07T17:57:36Z

i woke up early.
i made you breakfast.
i showered. i got myself ready.
i'm trying to do things better.

& you roll over, and say
"what are you doing dressed like that?"

gee thanks.

lovaaa @ 2007-02-06T17:19:00

2007-02-07T01:21:02Z

i haven't slept at all the past few nights.
not one wink.
& the in and out, light sleep i get
sometime after 8am just isn't doing it for me.

i've never been so tired,
in my life.

i'm exhausted.
i can't do this.

lovaaa @ 2007-02-01T13:38:00

2007-02-01T21:39:51Z

kevin.

listen to ben harper's version of
ain't no sunshine when shes gone.

it makes me think of you.

lovaaa @ 2007-01-31T23:56:00

2007-02-01T07:58:48Z

el jay, is where i vent.
it is where i moan & complain
so i don't bring it up to you.

any of you.

so you don't have to feel sorry.
so i don't drive you away.
so i don't get annoying.

so i can look happy,
as much as possible.

everyone likes a happpy girl,
right?

you're sick of me.
i can tell.

lovaaa @ 2007-01-31T00:02:00

2007-01-31T08:09:38Z

waiting for the paint to dry.

so here it is.
i'm scared, that my..
issues? emotions?
are driving you away.

which make my issues?
emotions? worse.

i'm getting a better grip.
but sometimes, it just
hurts.

i didn't used to be like this.
i didn't used to love.
i didn't used to care.
i didn't used to be the girl.
i broke hearts.
& i was damn good at it.

i'm afraid, what goes around
comes around.

i could deal with having my heart broken.
i couldn't deal with having my heart broken,
by you.
because i love you.

this is learning to let go.
ready, set,
breathe.

this is coming out so negative.
like i'm giving up,
like we're over.

we're not. not at all.
so maybe its not learning to let go,
its learning to let loose.
:]

go baby, go.
you've got the whole world at your feet.

i was once a strong person.
~~we'll~~ i'll revive that.

oh & i need to large supply of nyquil.
because fuck the monsters in the hallway.
i can't do this all night thing again.

go baby, go.

lovaaa @ 2007-01-30T02:00:00

2007-01-30T10:03:43Z

i'm mad because i feel like
i compromise myself for you.

& i feel like you won't take
just two steps my way.

i'm sorry. i'm so so sorry.

you put up with so much,
& i'm so scared it'll be
too much someday.

i'm trying baby,
i'm really really trying.

lovaaa @ 2007-01-28T01:12:00

2007-01-28T09:13:28Z

i've decided jerry mcguire
would be a better movie if
something blew up.

yeah.

lovaaa @ 2007-01-25T23:04:00

2007-01-26T07:05:10Z

it'd be nice if i didn't have to fight for your attention.

lovaaa @ 2007-01-02T12:41:00

2007-01-01T20:48:42Z

this is mostly for kevin.

last week sometime me & joe
decided to buy a puppy.
more specfically, a westie.

thats our little guy.

he lives in missouri.
so naturally, we were just going
to have him shipped, and pick
him up at the airport.

but joe, woke up one morning
and decided he wanted to drive,
all the way to missouri
to pick up our dog.

i should back up.

last week joe also got fired.
his whole store, got fired.
also, saturday, i quit my job.
yeah, i hate jeffery that much.

back to the puppy.

so in our planning of our
road trip to missouri
we realized plano, is only
a 6 hour drive from where
our puppy is. so naturally,
we added into the plans.

we're staying with kendra.
our original plan was to only
stay a night, but after i told
kyle, he said he'd change our minds.
so we'll probably stay for the weekend.
& of course, joe adds on to our trip
because he decides he wants to go
to san diego. so our drive home
will be up through california.

pretty exciting yes?

oh. & we're most likely naming
the puppy zeus.

lovaaa @ 2006-12-06T09:03:00

2006-12-06T17:03:10Z

i want to go to sleep
for a very very long time.